Future of Web Design...now in the past

So I've had a day to digest the FOWD conference (the speakers) on Wednesday here in New York. The quality of the speakers was pretty good overall, although there was some yawn-inducers.

So, due to my extreme lazyness, instead of comprehensively reviewing the day (you can get my incomprehensible coverage from my twitter feed. I thought I would hand out some awards for moments during the day.

Best Slide: "Why are email campaigns like gay porn?" - Matthew Patterson (Campaign Monitor)

Most obsequious presentation: Microsoft keeps showing up in the weirdest places. Linux conventions, design conferences. They were here, as a sponsor, and had almost nothing to say. The poor guy on stage was a "User Experience Evangelist" within Microsoft. Can you imagine that job? Running around, trying to tell people - "Hey, maybe you shouldn't pop up the same security warning over and over without giving people a 'remember my decision' option. Maybe the talking paper clip isn't a great idea..." I just felt bad for him.

Most like the Comedy Channel: Joshua Davis. It was obvious why they picked him to open, the guy knows how to work a crowd. He's an artist that uses algorithms to generate amazing randomized pieces from human-created input patterns.

Most overdue presentation: Elliot Jay Stocks, kicking off the Web 2.0 design aesthetic backlash (big fonts, bevelled curves, reflective logos). He established the rule: unless your name actually has the word "reflect" in it, you can't use a reflective logo. Don't be sheep!

Most notable presentation of information designers are supposed to know anyway: Ryan Singer of 37 Signals. Find out the most important stuff on the screen, use contrast for emphasis, make decisions...don't they teach you this stuff in school?